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Do you feel like your marriage is lacking in emotion and communication? Step back and look at your life, are you under a lot of stress? Stress can have negative effects on any relationship, but particularly on a marriage relationship.
The reason why marriage relationships suffer when you have excess stress in your life is because most of the stress we experience comes from things that can be shared by both husband and wife. Financial problems, housing problems, issues with children, and work related stress all affect both the husband and wife. When couples are faces with heavy issues in their life their relationship can suffer unless they take action.
Most of the stress that you find in a marriage could be relieved if couples would learn to communicate effectively. Unfortunately that is usually not the case. Couples get frustrated when they can't agree on a solution to the problem so they begin giving each other the silent treatment, throwing out negative remarks, and sometimes even abuse occurs. It is important to learn to communicate your feelings to your partner to help avoid the stress that occurs from lack of communication.
So how do you effectively communicate with your spouse to help avoid the negative effects of stress in your marriage?
First of all you both need to understand that you have a partnership. You are both equal and your opinions are equally valid. Rather than cutting the other person off when they say something you don't agree with, let them express their feelings. When it is your turn to talk, let them know you appreciated what they had to say. That way they know that you were really listening and they will be more likely to listen to you.
Second, don't expect to win every argument. In fact, it is better if no one wins but you come to a compromise or a joint agreement. That way everyone is happy and usually satisfied with the solution. Usually by having a civil conversation where you both discuss different ideas you will be able to work out a solution that uses ideas from both of you. If you both feel like you have contributed to the solution you will be more likely to support and work toward it.
Finally, respect the others opinion. Each person feels that their solution is the best so rather than shoot their ideas down, show that you understand where they are coming from even if you don't agree. By validating their ideas you are showing them that they are your partner and you value their input. If you take this attitude on every discussion you may find that your spouse does have some great ideas that you never considered before!
Stress doesn't need to negatively affect your relationship. Try to see stressful situations as opportunities for your relationship to grow. It is the hard times that will define your marriage, so work together so the difficulties will leave your relationship stronger.
