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Are you...
Tired of arguing with your partner about finances?
Working too hard to enjoy what you spend?
Sabotaging yourself from meeting your goals?
Letting financial worries get in the way of living the life you want?
70% of people say that money is the biggest source of stress in their life and the number one topic couples argue about. Stories about the struggling economy can rekindle these worries. For many people, more and more conversations are about how much of it you need and how to keep it safe.
But these conversations only touch the surface. Anxiety, frustration, sadness, fear, and guilt lurk just under the surface. This can complicate your marriage, as well as your life as a parent or child. It can cause incredible stress, as well as create tension in relationships.Â
But it doesn't have to be this way. You can discover how to change your Money Imprint and it's effect on your relationships...and it's easier than you think. The "secret" lies in knowing that we all have a unique pattern of talking about and making financial decisions.
This imprint is like a hidden force determining your spending and saving patterns, how well you follow through on financial goals, and how much you end up with. Just like your fingerprint identifies who you are, it determines how much wealth you have, how comfortable you are with it, and how it affects your relationships.
It's your Money Imprint that makes it hard for couples and families to deal effectively with the cash they have. For example...Â
If it is built around shame and secrecy, then you may find your pattern is to...
feel clueless about making financial decisions
let your partner or parents take care of your needs
keep secrets from your partner
If it is built around anger, then you may find your pattern is to...
spend in order to rebel against having to skimp earlier in your life
make decisions without consulting your partner
blame your partner for not making enough
criticize your partner's spending habits
If it is build around fear, then you may find your pattern is to...Â
avoid thinking about it at all
buy things in order to fill up the emptiness inside
feel more successful when you have more possessions
If it is build around guilt, then you may find your pattern is to...
lend even when you don't want to
not feel entitled to spend what your spouse makes
give your children more than is good for them
If it is build around being impulsive or risk taking, then you may find your pattern is to...
buy things without thinking about whether you need or can afford them
feel like you need to spend now to enjoy the moment
invest in ways that are too high risk for your partner
To change your money imprint, start with these four steps:
Notice how you feel when you decide to spend, save, or plan for the future financially. Keep a "spending diary" and look for patterns.
Challenge outdated beliefs. Instead of impulsively spending -- or anxiously saving -- talk decisions over with yourself. You'll get better at noticing which decisions are ones that are good for you.
Look for possibilities. Instead of thinking about what you "can't" do, or how you have to do without, ask your self "possibility questions": "How can I get what I want for free?" or "How can I plan with my partner so that both of us win?"
Talk it over. Find a time to talk with your partner about your beliefs, feelings, values, desires, and actions. Once you get communication started, you can help each other create good financial strategies.
Learn to understand and work with your Money Imprint, and you and your partner will move from arguing to planning. You'll end up with a better relationship...and very likely more wealth!
